Date: 7th June 2008 at 6:25pm
Written by:

Jesus H Christ. What the hell was that? I just sat through possibly the most embarrassing opening ceremony to a national tournament in my memory. As I read the various news sites on the internet headlining ‘Euro 2008 kicks off in style’, I think, eh?

Incase you missed this ‘showcase’, let me fill you in. Approximately 1000 people ran on to the pitch, which had a sheet over it with clear markings to show them where to stand, wearing half white half red suits filled with air, while holding big cubes above their heads. The people would stand in various formations, the only obvious one being in the shape of a mountain. Random people would walk between the cubes holding up inflatable cows and skiers. The thing was, you could only tell what was happening when you got a shot from the helicopter. No-one in the stadium had any idea what was going on.

The camera would get a shot of this nonsense going on in the middle and then change to the image of Michael Platini drifting in and out of sleep. I think he was just pretending though to hide embarrassment. What on earth does all this opening ceremony stuff have to do with football? Who actually cares what happens?

As well as that, it would change to a shot of various people in the crowd. People wearing rucksacks, waving hand sized flags, sitting with their feet up, drinking cups of coke. It really was awful. It was obvious many of these people had never even been inside a football stadium in their lives.

It’s when the ‘ceremony’ finishes too and you get than feminine ‘wooooo’ at the end that you really cringe. It made me wonder what would happen should Scotland get the 2012 European Championships. I’d like to see everyone joining in a rendition of ‘what the f*cking hell was that?’, the dancers being booed off the park and rude songs being sung to the hot women coming out to sing the national anthems in opera fashion.

It really is time we get rid of this nonsense.