End Of Year Report

As I receive my own end of year report which is generally summed up in each subject as ‘enthusiastic, but likes to do the bare minimum’, it reminded me of a certain bunch of somebodies…

Jamie Langfield

He’s undoubtedly the better of him and Soutar, but unfortunately they’re both not very good. Can be fantastic but prone to approximately one howler per game.

Derek Soutar

Exactly the same as Langfield except less howlers. He evens it out though by being unable to catch a cross.

Lee Mair

Well, we haven’t really seen enough of him to judge to be honest. Although from what we have, his performances have varied from acceptable to crap. Very injury prone and not any good to make up for it.

Dave Bus

The Bus unfortunately didn’t turn out to be as good as his name. I think everyone was a tad harsh on him. He was almost single handedly blamed for the 5-1 defeat to Celtic, for what reason I don’t know. And then on his first start back he scored the most unfortunate of own goals against Inverness and people used that against him! We have better than him though so he won’t be missed really.

Andrew Considine

Hasn’t got any better. Can be solid and likes to score in cup competitions but that’s not his job. He’s constantly caught ball watching and making really stupid errors. Once he gets that out his system, him and Diamond will be a good partnership, but I can’t see him getting it out his system!

Zander Diamond

Rightly won the Northsound player of the season. He’s not the best defender in the world but he certainly doesn’t duck out of any challenge and gives 100% every single week. Plus, he hates Rangers.

Jackie McNamara

Hopeless defined. Too old, too fat and too slow. The biggest let down of the season undoubtedly. Didn’t pass on any words of wisdom to the rest of our defence either. Note the 58 goals conceded in 38 league games.

Richie Byrne

So, he turned out to be quite good. However, he spent 95% of his time here in the physio room. Glad to see the back of him.

Richard Foster

Calderwood for some reason kept playing him out of position. If he played him in left back and didn’t go through 30 different defensive formations or whatever then Foster may have been decent this season but instead the only positive for him was the assist in Dnipro. Oh yeah, he scored the 4th against Copenhagen too. Why he was there to score it I don’t know.

Alan Maybury

Has been good since he joined from Leicester. However, I’ve no idea why we’ll be paying him more than we paid Hart when we let Hart go (who is just as good, if not better) because he wanted more money too.

Michael Hart

Captain fantastic. Well, vice-captain fantastic. No-one seems to have remembered his 8/8 captaincy record. He was also infact a great right back too. Solid as a brick but when he spoke off the pitch he’d usually mess up that week on the pitch.

Scott Severin

It’s sad to say he wasn’t a good captain. The whole captaincy really affected his game. He was slower and didn’t score and was more defending. He’s lucky that he had a good last game against Rangers to wash out everyone’s memories.

Jamie Smith

He’s a brilliant player but really needs to stay away from the physio room. His performance against Copenhagen was undoubtedly his best in an Aberdeen shirt and his goals were too.

Barry Nicholson

If he leaves, we really are in trouble. He is a quality midfielder, and why no interest has come in for him I do not know. Never gives up, always puts in the effort, is a good player and scores goals. The perfect midfielder in my eyes.

Karim Touzani

He is my favourite player. He is solid as a brick wall. It is no coincidence that when he plays the whole team plays better because everyone else knows he’s there to sweep up everything behind them if they’re caught out. Also a very decent person.

Jeffrey de Visscher

Another one of the 1/10 successful Dutchmen Calderwood has brought to Aberdeen. He’s just a bit fat and slow. His goals have been great too. That one against Hearts where he cut inside and let it rip into the bottom corner was real quality and his link-up play before slotting it through Boruc’s legs against Celtic was also fantastic to watch. He also appreciates the fans, unlike some of the overpaid garbage on our team.

Chris Clark

I always used to defend Clark with the reason he always put in 100%. But late in his Aberdeen career he was pulling out of challenges and too scared to take anyone on or have a shot. However, it is strange that the downfall of our season started when he left.

Derek Young

He proved us all wrong on his return. He turned out to be a good midfielder, simple as. Still a cocky you-know-what though.

Josh Walker

He was and is a great player. Unfortuately, after Jimmy hooked him at Rugby Park and he exchanged a few words we hardly saw him again. His goal against Bayern will be remembered by us Dons fans for years to come.

Sone Aluko

Undoubtedly the player we’ve all been searching for in Calderwood’s time at Aberdeen. A player that turns heads and brings back the fans with his pace, skill and outrageous (for Scottish football) goals. Like the version of Darren Mackie the Mackie lovers think they have.

Chris Maguire

Is crap. He has no skill, no pace and no strength.

Lee Miller

The most improved player since last season. Also the player of the season for a lot of Aberdeen fans. Without his goals we’d have been hovering just above Gretna. Also grabbed a load of assists. Brilliant with the lay offs, knock downs, flick ons (oh, and winning penalties).

Darren Mackie

He was Scheidt. He always has been. He scored what, 4 goals or something? He’s meant to be a striker. He gets played 5 times as much as Lovell as still finished behind him. Also as composed as a man on fire in front of goal, see Hibs 3-3 and Celtic 1-5.

Steve Lovell

Statistically was the best striker. And he was the best striker. Calderwood had a personal vendetta against him and didn’t play him. It’s there for the world to see.

Craig Brewster

Ah, yes. ‘Brewster must stay, Brewster must stay, hello hello’ rang around Easter Road as the 40+ year old put us 2-1 up. Scored 3 in 3 at the start of the season and was our top goalscorer for the first 4.5 months, even though he left in the first 3 weeks. Seemed to pass invaluable experience on to Lee Miller.